


A Muppety Christmas Celebration

by 3dnygma



Category: The Muppet Show, The Muppets (TV 2015), The Muppets - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol, Burns, Canon-Typical Violence, Christmas, Christmas Dinner, Christmas Eve, Comedy, Domestic, Established Relationship, Family Reunions, Femslash, Fluff, Multi, New Year's Eve, One-Sided Attraction, POV Third Person, Party, Past Tense, Rude behaviour, Whump, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:27:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27806071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3dnygma/pseuds/3dnygma
Summary: A collection of self-indulgent Muppet drabbles written for a friend's Christmas challenge!1. "Look, we're standing under a Mistletoe." - Kermit, Miss Piggy & Gonzo, The Muppet Show, 842 words2. "My fingertips have gone numb!" - Dr. Bunsen Honeydew/Beaker, The Muppet Show (Muppet Labs), 793 words3. "You have to have cocoa at least once during the holidays!" - Scooter/Walter, no specific verse, 1672 words4. "That's the spirit!" - Denise/Piggy, The Muppets ABC Show, 1163 words (New Year's Eve themed!)Please check the individual chapters for more precise info and content warnings c:
Relationships: Beaker/Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, Denise/Miss Piggy, Gonzo the Great & Miss Piggy, Kermit & Miss Piggy, Kermit the Frog/Miss Piggy, Miss Piggy & Gonzo the Great, Miss Piggy/Denise, Scooter/Walter (Muppets)
Comments: 24
Kudos: 23





	1. "Look, we're standing under a mistletoe." (Kermit, Piggy, Gonzo)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set within The Muppet Show, inspired by 1x18 ("Mumenschanz")  
> Tags/warnings: SFW, comedy, unrequited crush(es), dubious consent (kissing), rude behaviour, canon-typical violence
> 
> Always appreciating feedback!

She had made sure that it was carefully placed at the top of the stairs. Namely, the stairs that were leading up to the dressing rooms backstage. Actually, she had told Sweetums to put it up there. And when the much taller Muppet had dared to questions her ulterior motives, she had threatened to make his Christmas week – and the week after that – a living hell. In the end, he obliged.

And thus, hanging from roughly six feet above the ground, a piece of leftover white yarn had been attached to the dark green arch using some gaffer’s tape. And at the very end of it, the rest of the tape was barely holding the most beautiful mistletoe one could get for $5. Well, referring to that mistletoe as “carefully placed” would be an exaggeration. At least it was loosely tied together with a shiny pink ribbon to make up for _some_ of its sad arrangement.

It looked pretty decent from down below, though. Piggy would take it.

Now the only thing left for her to do was wait. Tonight’s guest star would have finished their opening number soon – and when they did, they would definitely rush up to their dressing room, where Kermit would hopefully follow them to keep them updated on their (more or less) tight schedule. Gonzo had entered that very same dressing room just a few minutes earlier – hopefully that weirdo wouldn’t be bothering her anytime soon today.

Fortunately, her hopes were fulfilled. She made sure to hide behind the railing upstairs when their guest walked under the arch – and then quickly jumped in front of Kermit before he could follow to the dressing room.

“Oh, frog of my life”, she cried hopelessly. “What a coincidence! It looks like we have found ourselves under….une magical mistletoe!”

Kermit, standing two stairs below Piggy, looked up and frowned. “Yeah Piggy, I can sure see that mistletoe.”

“Kermit, _mon amour_ ”, she continued, dramatically placing her hand on her forehead. “Did you know that, when two lovers find themselves under a mistletoe, they have to kiss at once….or they will be cursed for seven unwarranted years?”

Kermit raised his voice ever so slightly, not even trying to hide his annoyance “Piggy, I have never once in my life heard about a tradition like that!”

“But _Kermie_ , you have to believe me! My second cousin once-removed Hogbert and his girlfriend ignored the mistletoe’s plea….and one fateful night in October, they were both hit by a speeding tractor! Quelle tragédie…”

Kermit didn’t bat an eyelid…despite having three pairs of them.

“Since when can tractors speed?”

Piggy paused, sighing. “I suppose it will remain a mystery…Anyway, time for kissy-kissy!”

Her annoyed expression quickly turned into a bright smile as she picked up Kermit, placed him at the top of the stairs, and took his place below instead. Now, their heights were properly matched.

Piggy closed her eyes and puckered her lips, waiting for her well-deserved reward.

Kermit, meanwhile, was more busy having a proper look at the mistletoe, whose pink ribbon had loosened quite a bit and landed right on the stair between them.

“Gee, would ya look at that cheap mistletoe”, Kermit muttered to himself and slowly bent down to pick up the ribbon.

Piggy remained firm, still anticipating her kiss. “Hurry up, mon amour. It is very rude to keep a lady waiting…”

At that very moment, Gonzo had exited the dressing room and was on his way towards the stairs. When Miss Piggy, his current unrequited crush, lovingly looked towards him (or as lovingly as one could do with closed eyes), he could hardly believe what he was witnessing.

THE Miss Piggy….was finally returning his feelings? And wanted to kiss him under a mistletoe?

And so, he quickly rushed over to her and gave her a quick kiss, unaware that Kermit was still bending over between them.

At last, Piggy could feel the frog’s tender lips and opened her eyes to see…. _Oh-no-absolutely-NOT!_

“How dare you taint these beautiful lips with your grotesque advances?! Hi-ya!”

And with that, Gonzo was karate-chopped through the air, hitting the wall in-between the two dressing rooms and remaining stuck there.

Finally, Kermit got up again – too oblivious to take a look at the knocked out Muppet behind him and facing Piggy instead.

“Miss Piggy, you sure look upset…what’s the matter?”, he uttered in surprise.

Piggy was clenching her teeth, fully abandoning her sweet sing-song voice. “Quiet, frog.”

Kermit didn’t complain and saw the opportunity to slide besides Piggy, rushing downstairs.

“Guess the kiss is called off then, huh? What a shame.”

(No, it really wasn’t.)

Once he had reached the end of the stairs, Kermit turned around to face Piggy again to say his goodbyes.

“Anyhow, Merry Christmas to you, Piggy!”

And looking at the wall behind Piggy, he added, “Oh, hi Gonzo. What happened to you over there?”

The purple Muppet, still stuck on the wall, slowly awoke from his unconscious state – only to raise his raspy, love-struck voice and reply, “You wouldn’t understand it, frog.”


	2. "My fingertips have gone numb!" - Bunsen/Beaker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Total list of chapters:
> 
> 1\. "Look, we're standing under a Mistletoe." - Kermit, Miss Piggy & Gonzo, The Muppet Show, 842 words  
> 2\. "My fingertips have gone numb!" - Dr. Bunsen Honeydew/Beaker, The Muppet Show (Muppet Labs), 793 words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set within The Muppet Show, specifically the Muppet Labs segments  
> Tags/warnings: SFW, Whump, comedy, romance, canon-typical violence, burns, winter
> 
> Please let me know what you think :)

The cameras were placed outside on this snowy day while Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker were waiting for the shooting to start. Both had ditched their usual lab coats in favour of warmer (and let’s admit it, more fashionable) clothes. They were wearing matching sweaters, coats and beanies – only Bunsen was wearing a pair of thick, water-resistant gloves, whereas Beaker was currently wearing none.

Despite the change of scenery, and temperature, they were pretty much ready to go and only needed to wait for the crew’s signal. Once said signal came, Bunsen waved his right hand, opting to start with a classic intro.

“Welcome, everybody! I am Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, this is my lovely assistant Beaker, and today we will be trying out some of Muppet Labs newest inventions….in the wild! For these are truly cold times – but only if you lack the right gear!”

His introduction was followed by a clapping gesture from Beaker. However, when Beaker’s hands touched he let out a confused “Meep.”, followed by a frustrated “Meep meememeep!” Even the wide-angled camera could pick of the blue colour that suddenly spread across Beaker’s fingers.

Bunsen briefly covered his mouth in surprise. “Oh, is it really true, Beakie? Your fingertips have gone numb from the cold? Why, I know just the _perfect_ invention for this most-chilly occasion…”, he announced as he pointed towards an aperture located on their outdoor table. To the non-scientific eye, the two accompanying pieces might have resembled the shapes of two clothing irons.

“The _instant-hand-warmer_! Once in contact with your fingers, someone else’s fingers, or _anything_ vaguely resembling the shape of humanoid fingers, the instant-hand-warmer will immediately cure all numbness caused by cold temperatures! Isn’t that just swell, Beakie?”

Beaker meeped semi-happily, eager to get rid of the numbness.

“Now, Beakie, would you be so kind as to lend me your stunningly soft hands for a minute?”

Beaker’s sudden red cheeks were hard to dismiss. But those weren’t from the cold, were they? In fact, Beaker seemed so focused on their brief act of holding hands that he barely noticed when Bunsen ultimately decided to place both of Beaker’s hands on the table, swiftly ironing over them with his instant-hand-warmer.

Beaker quickly awoke from his love-struck trance, as the pain hit him almost instantly.

“MEEEEE mMEMmEMEemEEE!”, Beaker cried out. His fingers had now turned from blue to red and had been pressed paper thin by the pressure.

“Wonderful, Beakie!”, Bunsen cheered. “Now you can finally feel your isty-tipsy finger tips again! Seems like the instant-hand-warmer’s 100% succession rate has been proven once again!”

Beaker, meanwhile, ran around the outdoor set screaming, eventually finding some snow to stick his hands in. While not completely getting rid of the burns, the cold at least….numbed….the pain a little.

Finally, Bunsen looked back at the camera, raising his pointy finger in excitement. “Thank you, everybody. That’s all today from Muppet Labs!”

***

After they had spent a few minutes inside the much more comfortable laboratory by themselves, the pain had cooled down quite a bit. However, Beaker’s skin was still burnt and, as a result, affected by much longer lasting injuries.

He was sitting in one of the rather comfortable chairs at the lab, when Bunsen arrived and brought him a glass of fresh lemonade – as he deemed that drink more suitable than a cup of hot chocolate.

“Beakie, how are you feeling?”

“Mee…meemeeMooMee…”

Bunsen smiled.

“Well, that is an improvement! Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Meemee! MeeMooMeeMee?”

“Of course! As a matter of fact, I might have something suitable in store.”

Bunsen quickly rushed off and returned with small package of lip balm.

“The owie-booie-lip-balm! I have to admit that the product is still in its earlier stages…but it should help with the healing process. Would you mind holding my hands for a second, Beakie?”

Beaker hestitated.

Bunsen quickly realized. “Oh, I’m sorry, Beaker. I promise that you can trust me now.”

Begrudgingly, Beaker obliged. They both knew that, despite everything, nothing could ever _truly_ stop their mutual trust.

Bunsen briefly applied some of the balm on his lips before taking a soft hold of Beaker’s hands. He then pressed his lips on Beaker’s thumb, giving him a soft kiss. And then another. Aaand another.

Beaker, meanwhile, started to feel some immediate results. The pain in those first few fingers was completely gone and their texture already felt a lot softer. Besides, the sensation of Bunsen’s lips on his fingers was…a very nice bonus.

After a few kisses, Bunsen paused. “This is going to take a while, dear Beakie. I hope you’re alright with that.”

Oh, Beaker was _very much_ on board with this. “Meemee!”

“Why, yes of course I’ll keep going Beakie! Anything for you.”


	3. "You have to have cocoa at least once during the holidays!" (Scooter/Walter)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No specific setting, mainly Muppets Now and the ABC show (2015-2016)  
> Tags: SFW, established relationship, Scooter’s POV, fluff, comedy, domestic, family reunion, Christmas gathering, human OCs, Walter’s family

The table was stacked full of elaborate delicacies. Stuffed turkey with peas and cranberries on the side. Potato gratin with caramelized onions on top. Cucumber salad with yoghurt dressing. Homemade casserole.

Scooter knew that there were simply too many main _and_ side dishes to choose from. He also knew that they would not be able to finish _any_ of them by the end of tonight.

They were three couples in total. First, there were Gary and Mary, who had brought over their self-made gingerbread from across the block – in case there was some need for treats after dinner. Then, there were, of course, Gabrielle and Winston, who had carefully prepared said dinner and were so incredibly delighted to have both their sons and their partners as their guests on Christmas Eva. And finally, there was the newest couple addition….Walter and Scooter, who had brought over a box of “carefully chosen wines” with them – or at least the package had said so.

As no children were present during this gathering on Christmas Eve, the presents were already placed below the Christmas tree, eagerly waiting to be opened the following morning.

It was…nice. Terribly nice, even. In fact, Scooter felt so overwhelmed by the kindness exuding from Walter’s family that a stage of slight nervousness was haunting his every move.

“Scooter, are you finished already?” Gabrielle asked. Actually, Scooter wasn’t – but he had spent the past minute awkwardly observing everyone at the table, so he could not blame Walter’s mother for being at least somewhat worried.

“Oh, you know just….taking a brief break before finishing off….” Scooter exhaled, then quickly added, “because of the wonderful food! Seriously, this is amazing.” And he _was_ being serious.

Gabrielle was clearly flattered, briefly covering her smiling mouth with her right hand. “Oh, what a gentleman you’ve invited over today, Walter. You know, Scooter, Walter’s been telling us so many amazing things about you. Isn’t that right, Winston?”

Winston, who was currently dealing with his last scoop of potato gratin, nodded heavily.

Meanwhile, Walter was visibly blushing. Now Gabrielle was not the only one covering parts of her face.

Once they had finished their plates, Winston grabbed onto Gary’s and Walter’s shoulders (or Walter’s figurative shoulders, as he was much shorter than his human father). “Alright boys” he declared. “you know what comes next?”

Gary grinned. “You mean it’s time for…”

“…our festive holiday cocoa?” Walter finished as his face lit up.

Winston laughed. “Absolutely. Scooter, you want some too?”

Scooter scratched his head. “Ehh, I don’t know. My mom and her boyfriend _Ken_ have been on this green tea diet since November. And for the past few weeks, that’s been the only drink I could get at our house. It’s been quiterefreshing, actually!”

“Wait, so you’re saying that you haven’t had _any_ cocoa this Christmas season?!” Walter asked, eyes wide open. “But you have to have cocoa at least _once_ during the holidays! And besides, dad’s got his own special recipe that he prepares _every_ Christmas Eve. You’re gonna love it!”

“Well…I suppose a little cocoa never hurt nobody...”, Scooter replied. “…or nobody that I know of, at least.”

“What a wonderful idea!” Gabrielle added. “How about I show Scooter around the house while you guys make some cocoa?”

Walter was jumping up and down, clearly delighted by the suggestions. “Sounds perfect, Ma! Prepare for the best cocoa you’ve ever had in your _entire_ life, Scooter.” He then rushed over to the kitchen, consequently taking Gary, Mary and Winston with him.

“Good luck!” Gabrielle yelled after them as she was leading Scooter up the stairs.

“Are you…sure they’re going to be alright in there?”, Scooter inquired.

Gabrielle briefly stopped in her tracks, turning around and giving him a soft smile. “As long as Walter doesn’t get too stressed trying to impress his _boyfriend…_ ”, a brief wink, followed by some more stairs, “…I’m sure everything is going to be perfectly fine.”

The wall next to the stairs was covered in family photos and cute drawings. Most photos seemed to be of grandparents, distant cousins or class pictures. Observing their family throughout the decades, Scooter could watch Gary becoming a young adult, Gabrielle opting for a shorter hairstyle of her greying hair, and Winston growing himself a moustache. The one consistent factor was a small, yellow Muppet that consistently stood out from his human peers and relatives.

The first floor was slightly creaky and as Scooter followed Gabrielle around, he was reminded of a story that Walter had told him a few months ago on their second date. According to Walter, he had spent several years of his teenage life carefully sneaking down to the living room in order to watch some more VHS recordings of The Muppet Show. Scooter had already considered it a cute story back then – yet walking on those same floors and making quite a noise doing so really put things into perspective. It truly made him wonder how Walter never got caught while sneaking downstairs.

Upstairs, Scooter managed to get a proper look at the yellow and blue bathroom, Gabrielle’s and Winston’s room, and, finally, Walter’s and Gary’s room. Although the furniture looked just the same on both sides, one could easily tell which half belonged to each brother. While the right half was full of Smalltown banners, the left one displayed an illustrated map of Hollywood. While the right half of their shared nightstand featured a framed photo of Mary in her early 20s, the left side featured a picture of Kermit the frog.

He decided to examine the left side more closely – more specifically the shelf full of Muppet merchandise. Miss Piggy, Animal, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, … they were all there, ready to be loved and admired by the young boy who had once received them. Scooter was even able to spot a small, orange figurine resembling his own statue at the bottom of the shelf.

He was taking a proper look at it when Garbielle, who was standing behind him, broke their silence.

“You know, that figure was one of the first ones he got.”

Scooter turned around to face her. “Really?”

“Yeah, for his fourteenth birthday – along with some plushies. He just _adored_ the Kermit watch and that Muppet Studios book from his thirteenth birthday….looked happier than he had all the months before that.” She said, softly petting one of the Kermit plushies on the wall. “We simply couldn’t resist.”

She sighed. “I guess he’s always been my little baby…but I’m glad who’s found others like him, you know. People that he can truly share his dreams and desires with.”

Scooter was taken back to the photos next to the stairs. One small muppet surrounded by human friends and relatives. One lonely teenager posing next to a bunch male peers and their girlfriends. One young man feeling out of place.

Despite the loving environment at home that Walter surely grew up in, that feeling of not quite fitting in must have been rather familiar to him. And Scooter could very much relate to that.

Scooter gave her a soft smile. “And we’re all glad to have him with us…” Pause. “I surely am.”

Suddenly, a shrieking fire alarm could be heard from downstairs.

Gabrielle walked towards the door and – much to Scooter’s surprise – remained at complete ease. “Well, sounds like the others are finished with the cocoa!”

The sudden smell of burnt marshmallows and milk certainly implied the same thing. Thus, they abandoned the boys’ room behind them and rushed back downstairs. On their way downstairs, Scooter decided to let the figurine slip into his pocket. Technically, there would have been enough time to put it back on the shelf – but the chance of confronting Walter with a figurine of his current boyfriend simply had to be taken later.

When the floor was creaking under them once more, Scooter reflected back on Walter’s secret night-time adventures. Even if Walter was rather small and light in nature, it was still unlikely that his parents never _once_ noticed him sneaking downstairs. In fact, it was much more likely that they _did_ hear him wander off to the living room…and simply let him.

When they arrived, they were confronted with quite a sight. The dining table had been cleaned while they were gone – only to be stained with spilled cocoa afterwards. The beverage itself was served in four red, matching mugs and garnished with burnt marshmallows whose colour rather resembled that of black holes than that of sweet caramel.

Yet, the table was not the only thing stained with cocoa, as Walter’s and Winston’s sweaters had not been able to stay clear of it either.

However, Walter’s nervous smile stood out most prominently among this slight mess. “There you go, our special Christmas cocoa…or I guess an attempt at it.”

Winston nudged Gary’s shoulder, seemingly proud of their creation, while Mary’s slightly concerned expression mirrored that of Walter.

“Oh, I think it looks absolutely delicious!”, Gabrielle insisted.

Did it, though? Scooter was getting slightly vary of those black marshmallows.

Gabrielle then continued. “I hope the kitchen’s alright?”

Gary’s eyes widened. “Oh right, we’re _so_ sorry for setting off the fire alarm!”

“It’s alright, honey”, she replied calmly. “As long as nothing major happened.”

“Yeah, we managed to get it under control just in time.” Mary reassured them.

Gabrielle nodded, grabbing one of the mugs. “Then I suppose we can dive right in!”

And so Scooter grabbed his own cup, carefully taking a sip. Its taste was certainly…something. The marshmallows felt burnt and heavy in his mouth – and the cocoa almost tasted as if somebody had accidentally put in salt instead of sugar. He shivered in response.

But when he put down the cup again and examined it more closely, he noticed that the marshmallows were arranged in the shape of a heart.

“So, what do you think?” Walter asked, standing next to Scooter and eagerly waiting for a reply.

Scooter chuckled, giving his boyfriend a kiss on the cheek.

“It’s perfect, thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As it is Dec 23rd already, I am not sure if there's going to be another chapter/drabble after this one. Perhaps a shorter one that's related to New Year's Eve?
> 
> Either way.....Merry (early) Christmas, everybody! Feedback is heavily appreciated c:


	4. "That's the spirit!" - Denise/Piggy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Denise/Piggy  
> Set in The Muppets ABC series  
> Tags: New Year’s Eve, party setting, femslash, alcohol consumption, video call, Rowlf the Dog (supporting), Sam the Eagle (supporting), Uncle Deadly/Bobo mention, Kermit/Fozzie mention, SOME Kermit slander...as a treat  
> Word count: 1163

10:24pm. Less than two hours until New Year’s and Denise was already feeling dizzy from all the alcohol in her system. In hindsight, the problem had not been the double-shot of tequilla itself – but that Rizzo had dared her to drink it all in one go. Yolanda and the other rats cheering her on certainly did not help, either. Fortunately, she still had plenty of time to sober up and take it easy before midnight.

The same thing, however, could not be said about her surroundings. People had been celebrating for several hours now – and yet the party did not seem to cool down anytime soon. Pepe and Rizzo had carefully cultivated a playlist full of 90s hip hop songs, with the occasional European electronic dance anthem added by Gonzo. The whirlpool outside, unexpectedly occupied by The Electric Mayhem, was stacked full. And the snacks that Camilla and Gonzo had prepared were so delicious that Denise actively had to remind herself to keep her appetite in check.

In short, Pepe, Rizzo, Gonzo, and Camilla certainly knew how to throw a great New Year’s Eve party.

And Denise was quite thankful for the invitation. Back when she and Kermit were still together, meetings with the Muppets had been sparse, mainly because Kermit wanted to avoid any possibly dangerous interactions between her and Piggy. Sadly, Kermit had been her main link to the Muppets. And when she had ultimately decided to break up with him, giving the others a visit at the studio only became more challenging over time.

So when Pepe had given her a call – making sure to mention that Kermit was spending New Year’s Eve with Fozzie’s family – Denise jumped at the chance of finally visiting the Writers’ mansion.

She was having a splendid time thus far, opting to blend in with the crowd and joining one the smaller circles that had formed over the course of the evening.

“No, the White Oak of _Illinois_ is clearly the _superior_ Oak tree in all of America!” Sam the Eagle loudly exclaimed next to the bar.

Well, that certainly seemed like an intriguing conversation.

“Listen, friend.” Rowlf elaborated. “All Oaks are the same. Big, steady, wonderful places to mark one’s territory...”

Scooter and Walter, meanwhile, both nodded absently and seemed to be regretting their choice of joining Rowlf and Sam at the bar.

In the end, the discussion about state trees, which Denise eagerly listened to, went on for several minutes, until Scooter decided to add some commentary of his own. “I’m sure Piggy would love your guys’ discussion, she’s also weirdly passionate about state trees.”

Speaking of Piggy, Denise only just noticed that she hadn’t spotted the fellow pig at tonight’s party.

“By the way, do you guys know where Piggy is?” she decided to ask.

“Oh, I think she’s spending New Year’s Eve with Uncle Deadly.” Walter answered. “They’ve been hosting _Legally Blonde_ marathons for a few years now. I heard it’s quite exclusive, actually!”

Sam shook his head. “No, _Deadly_ is visiting Bobo and his family this year! He told me so last week.”

At least that meant Deadly could be added to the list of Muppets visiting their bear-ish boyfriends and family tonight, namely right under Kermit.

_But who was Piggy celebrating New Year’s Eve with, then?_

Scooter, catching Denise’s frowned expression, gave her a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, Denise. Camilla told me that she invited Piggy a few days ago and that Piggy declined. I’m sure she’d be here if she felt lonely, right?”

Denise nodded, although she was not too sure about that one.

“I think I’m still gonna send her a text, though.” she stated. “Do y’all want any snacks while I’m gone?”

Then, she noted their requests at the back of her head, taking a detour through the slightly quieter hallway and taking out her phone.

Piggy only picked up the call after quite a while – just about when Denise was going to cancel it.

“Denise?” The pig in question was wearing a brown face mask and a luxurious silk robe. Early 2000s pop music could be heard in the background.

“Piggy darlin’, how are you doing tonight?” Denise asked.

Piggy scoffed. “Well, I _was_ doing fine, thank you very much for asking.” A pause. “Why are you calling?”

“Well, I’m at the party- You know, the one that Gonzo and the others organized! And I was just thinking that…well, it’d be wonderful if you paid us a visit. I think the others would love to see you there as well.”

“I doubt that very much. Besides, what makes _you_ think I’m alone?”

“Well”, Denise replied. “Sam told me you weren’t with Deadly tonight.”

Besides, the face mask was kind of speaking for itself. Not that Denise minded.

“Look, Piggy, I know what it’s like to spend New Year’s by yourself…If it hadn’t been for the invite, I probably would have spent it by myself as well…you know, without Kermit-“

“Yeah, I sure wonder what that must have been like, actually being the one to break up with Kermit.” Piggy’s sarcasm was not subtle.

Denise remained cheerful, though. “Oh, it was great, actually. Well, not at first. It felt like such a rough decision to make…but I’m glad I did make it in the end.”

And much to her surprise, Piggy laughed - sincerely. “Man, I _wish_ that had been me. Breaking up with somebody sounds more fun than actually _being_ broken up with!” Then, she muttered, “It certainly would have been less depressing…”

“But look at you, darlin’!” Denise insisted. “You’ve been doing so much better since you and Kermit broke up.”

Piggy was left started. “Ya think?”

“Absolutely! I think the independent Piggy is a much more confident look.” And also a much more attractive look, although Denise did not dare to utter that phrase just yet. “In fact, I think the two of us might _both_ be better without him. No offense to Kermit, though.”

“Oh, _full_ offense to him!” Apparently Piggy was not intending to hold back just as much.

Both pigs laughed in response, grunting ever so slightly.

“So”, Denise inquired. “Sure you don’t wanna come over? There’s still enough time before midnight!”

Piggy sighed. “I don’t know…might be kind of depressing to join without a New Year’s Eve kiss, don’t you think?”

“Darlin’, I’m sure there’ll be enough people willing to gift you with a kiss tonight.” Denise even managed to add a brief wink, leaving a flirty impression.

_Surely that must have been the alcohol in her system – right?_

Piggy clearly failed at hiding a smile. “Alright, give me 35 minutes at the very least – a girl’s gotta get ready!”

“That’s the spirit! See you later, love.”

Then, Denise ended the call, visibly blushing. And on her way to the kitchen to grab some snacks, she thought about the possibility of being Piggy’s New Year’s Eve kiss. That pig better had to arrive in time for the new year!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I had a nickle for every time a Muppet spent New Year’s Eve with their bear boyfriend and bear family, I’d have two nickles. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice…
> 
> Anyways, Happy New Year everybody!


End file.
